6 Steps to Handling Conflict
Step 1: Cool off.
Conflicts can’t be solved in the face of hot emotions. Take a step back, breathe deep, and gain some emotional distance before trying to talk things out. Step 2: Tell what’s bothering you using “I messages.” ”I messages” are a tool for expressing how we feel without attacking or blaming. By starting from “I” we take responsibility for the way we perceive the problem. Say: I feel… When you… I need or want…. Step 3: Each person restates what they heard the other person say. Reflective listening demonstrates that we care enough to hear the other person out, rather than just focusing on our own point of view. It actually fosters empathy. Step 4: Take responsibility. In the majority of conflicts, both parties have some degree of responsibility. However, most of us tend blame rather than looking at our own role in the problem. When we take responsibility we shift the conflict into an entirely different gear, one where resolution is possible. Step 5: Brainstorm solutions and come up with one that satisfies both people. Resolving conflicts is a creative act. There are many solutions to a single problem. The key is a willingness to seek compromises. Step 6: Affirm, forgive, or thank. A fist bump, hug, or kind word gives closure to the resolution of conflicts. Forgiveness is the highest form of closure. Just saying thank you at the end of a conflict, or acknowledging the person for working things out sends a message of conciliation and gratitude. We preserve our relationships this way, strengthening our connections and working through problems that arise. *http://www.learningpeace.com/ |
Practice Scenario #1 |
Practice Scenario #2 |
Practice Scenario #3 |
practice using the steps and skills above with the following scenario:
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